lifestyle

The Power of a Fresh Start

Eighteen months ago, I came to Japan with my small family and a trolley full of luggage.  Out of that luggage here is a rough list of what I brought:

1. A small quantity of clothes
2. 4 Cd’s
3. 2 DVDs
4. 4 books
5. 1 laptop
6. 1 bike bag full of a racing bike, helmet, shoes etc.
7. 1 wetsuit

My wife and my daughter brought a similar quantity of gear, and I am proud of the fact that we paid no excess baggage charges when we moved over here. 

What we left behind (or got rid of before we left) were a few cars, some real estate, a house-full of furniture, an office full of paperwork, a garage full of tools and machinery and generally a life full of clutter.  In hindsight, it is clear that we were drowning in things.  Our possessions had become more of a problem than a benefit.  We were forever trying to find places to store things, trying to maintain things, trying to repair things.  And all for what purpose? 

When we moved here I made sure to bring the 4 things that I was really glad that I owned.  The four things that, out of everything that I possessed, I actually got some lasting satisfaction out of:

1. My racing bike - This is my latest bike that I built myself and is just so sweet to ride.  I consider it an essential tool to aid my sense of freedom.
2. My copy of The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou on DVD - I don’t usually own DVDs but this one is in a class of it’s own.    
3. The soundtrack to The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou on CD - The soundtrack captures so much of the feel of the music, that it is like watching the movie through your ears.  Perhaps I am a freak, but I decided that these two were very important in my life and I am glad I did.
4. My wetsuit - This was more a symbolic gesture and a bit wishful at that.  The wetsuit I refer to is an all seasons steamer for where I came from in Australia.  It meant the difference between enjoying the ocean and ending up with hypothermia for much of the year.  It revolutionized my experience of the sea, and I bought it in the hope that it could repeat its magic here as well.  In reality, we live too far from the coast for it to ever get wet, so it sits in my cupboard as a reminder of the seaside life that we don’t have here.  Kind of sad really.

Out of all of the things that we left behind, there are very few things that I miss.  Sometimes I feel like listening to some music that we didn’t bring with us or looking something up in a book that is back in Australia.  Every now and then I will look for a tool that is not in Japan or a shirt that I left behind, but really there is very little of our Australian possessions that we miss.

Since moving here we have picked up an assortment of essential equipment.  Our kitchen is stocked, our house is comfortable, we have commuter bikes and a car.  Our children have toys and we have a few tools that help us do odd jobs in the house and garden.  Realistically, though, we have very little possessions here and it feels great.  We live an almost streamlined lifestyle here, without the need or desire to accumulate things that hold us down.  The only real encumbrance is the fish tank and fish that we were given.  Anything else could be given away or sold within a week if we chose to pack up and travel.  We have everything that we need for a rich fulfilling life, but no more.

The benefits of this fresh start have been a revolution in my concept of what possessions mean.  For a long time I had felt this inkling that my things controlled me.  That my possessions actually owned me.  Feeling how I do now, I know it was true.  After some point, more possessions means less life, as we become concerned with using, protecting, insuring, maintaining and replacing the possessions rather than having the time to live.  On a number of occasions, I tried to minimize what I owned by selling off or giving away things, but there was always more and somehow I never seemed to make lasting progress.  That is why the fresh start was so effective for me.  I was forced to take with me only what I could carry and so I only took what I really wanted.  Rather than concentrating on what I didn’t want, I focused on what I did and I found it was relatively little.  I packed with 2 years in mind, but I now realize that I would be happy living like this indefinitely.  I know we have a lot of things in storage back in Australia, but I can’t remember exactly what it all is.  Before we left we got rid of so much, that I can’t recollect what is still there.  I am quite happy with this.  When we eventually go back I am planning to get rid of a whole lot more of our gear and live like we are here.  My fresh start has given me a taste for minimal living, and I don’t feel like going back to a life of clutter and encumbrance.

The fascinating part of this fresh start concept is that it doesn’t just apply to physical possessions.  It could equally be applied to an email account, the pile of paperwork on your desk, or even your random collection of unhealthy relationships.  The concept is made up of these components:

1. Select only the bare minimum of items that you need to live a fulfilling relationship
2. Close your eyes and take the plunge to get rid of the rest 
3. Breath deeply and enjoy the peaceful emptiness of minimalism
4. Go to wok with your freedom and don’t head back to your old accumulative nature.

There is always an element of risk in this sort of action.  What if we get rid of something that we regret or keep something that we don’t need?  The benefits of this risk, far outweigh the risk, so we just live with it.  More often than not, we can enjoy the freedom without looking back in regret.  At least I know this is true for me whenever I make a fresh start.

However there is a trap in this fresh start thinking.  No matter what we leave behind we always take ourselves with us.  If we are the problem, or even part of the problem, then we are taking our old issues into our fresh start.  Soon our fresh start ends up looking just like our previous situation and we are no better off.  I understand that this is why divorce is such a disappointing experience for so many people.  They expect that they can leave their partner and find a new more perfect one.  In reality, they take themselves with them and find that they aren’t able to keep a new relationship together either.  In situations like this, we have to work on ourselves rather than just on our situation.  Perhaps we need to try training in conflict resolution before we leave our partners.  

A trivial example in my life is my email inbox.  Recently I totally emptied it and stored anything I needed in neat little folders.  I had a fresh start.  Then gradually at first, hardly noticeably, I started to hold back on deleting a couple of emails until I knew what action to take.  Soon after I kept a few in my inbox to read later.  Then one day when I visited my inbox it was all overgrown with emails just like it had been before my fresh start.  Why?  Because I took myself and my habits into my fresh start and they went to work getting things back to how they were.  Instead I should have first worked on a better system to deal with these emails and changed my storage habits before I made the clean out.  That is my problem, what is yours?  What area of your life have you tried a fresh start?  What area do you need a fresh start?

Thanks

Tom