Relationships

The Power of Relationship pyramids

Now before you think I am talking about pyramid selling,  I can assure you that the real power of Relationship Pyramids is much more important than that.  When I use the term Relationship Pyramid, I am describing the way that we have many different degrees of relationships with people around us. 

The vast majority of those meetings are one-off courtesies:

“Hi, I’m Tom.  Nice tie…see you around”

We have thousands, if not millions, of these sort of relationships in our life and so they form the big fat base of our pyramid. 

Up the top of the pyramid is only room for one person (or perhaps 2 if you are careful).  The relationships towards the top are the most intimate and important relationships in your life.  These are the relationships where you have the most trust, commitment and confidence.

In between these 2 extremes are an infinite range of relationships.  The further you look up the pyramid, it will be clear that there are less and less people at each level.  This is because we all have a limited capacity to relate with others at these increasingly intense levels.  Some people will have tall steep pyramids, while others will have short flat ones.  This depends on your personality and the situation you are in.  No matter what the shape, there is always a point towards the top.

Now this is all fine in theory but what does it mean in practice?  When you consider a particular relationship you may be able to visualize where the other person would fit on your pyramid.  When the other person thinks about their relationship with you, they may be able to place you on their pyramid as well.  Things move along nicely when we both see the relationship at the same level.  Usually, however,  there is some discrepancy between where you both fit on each other’s pyramids.

If you are at the top of my pyramid, but I am half way down yours then there is bound to be troubles.  If you consider me a mid-range friend, but to me, you are barely an acquaintance then we are destined for difficulty. 

For me, this has had a profound effect on how I relate with others.  I’ll leave you to think about the implications of this simple analogy for yourself.  Just a hint though…To some degree we have the power to move up or down another person’s pyramid.  Please drop a comment on what sort of implications this could have on effective relationships.

Thanks

Tom