lifestyle

They all lived happily ever after

I read a story written by my young niece yesterday.  It was a classic fairy story with a fairy, a princess a castle and a magic wand - all the ingredients for a beautiful drama.  I won’t try and re-tell it here because I wouldn’t do it justice, except you can imagine how glad I felt when it ended with the traditional “They all lived happily ever after”. 

In children’s stories, it is OK to include almost any sort of drama and suffering if the last sentence resolves it pleasantly.  The bad guys could be causing havoc, the good guys could be helpless, the story could be bleak and miserable but as long as they all lived happily ever after then we are left satisfied and cheerful.

This got me thinking, that you never read a story that ends with

They all lived rich ever after 

and I have never seen one that ends

They all live famous lives ever after

Adults are obsessed with these sort of details.  We always want to know exactly how we will live in the future.

Children seem to not care how it all works out, or how the characters live happily.  They don’t stress and analyse how sustainable the happiness is.  All they care about is that the people involved are happy.

Of course I am probably reading too much into the psychology of children, but I wonder what we can learn from this.  I believe that there are 3 important lessons to learn from the desire to Live happily ever after:

1. Happiness needn’t be a complex thing.  All of these stories imply that once a fundamental situation resolves itself, then overall happiness can last.  I believe that this is true.  It is possible to live a life of overall happiness.  It needn’t be any more complex than that.
2. To live “Happily ever after” is  a dream that is common to many people and has been for centuries.  It is quite safe to assume this motivation whenever we deal with people.  Nine times out of ten we will be correct if we assume that someone acts in the way that they do simply because they are trying to  Live happily ever after.  This is a very useful insight into why people behave in strange and convoluted ways.  Even your enemies become humans when you understand that they are just trying to live happily ever after.
3. Although children may have a very simple view of life, they are usually born optimists.  They always prefer to believe that things will work out, and that it is possible to experience happy endings.  As time goes by, many people lose this optimism, but I believe it is possible to re-build it.  Healthy optimism is a defining trait of childhood enthusiasm and is one of the reasons why children have unlimited potential.

So next time you get the chance to read a classic children’s story, check out how the action flows.  You will most likely notice a familiar and comfortable rhythm to the plot.  The story is established, the situation deteriorates, the situation is resolved by a hero and they all live happily ever after.  Why isn’t your life like this?  Maybe since you have grown up, you don’t believe it is possible to live happily ever after?  Maybe you are wrong?

Thanks

Tom